I Don't Even Need to Chase That Paper.

Oh, THERE you are L.A. heat. Nice to finally meet you.
And hate you.
All in one week.
You can sweat anywhere and everywhere. Don't sleep on the unknown, mayne.

I had my tarot cards read last night by my girl Jocelyn's mom. She lives in Hawaii, Robin was on the line from Seattle, and me and Joce were posted up here at my place in Long Beach. I've been meaning to have my cards read, but I've also been really scared too: shit always falls in line with the truth and perspective. I'm all about exploring different ways to gain insight on life and how to maintain a sense of spiritual balance between myself and the world around me. Do I plan on becoming a devout believer in all of it? Who knows. Right now I'm not a devout believer in anything really, so....

Back to the tarot card reading.

Few Key Things I Got Out Of It (Without Going Too Far Into It. Gotta Maintain My Privacy, Nahymean??):

- Work on not holding back so much anymore. What I have to say is important. I'm more intelligent than I give myself credit for.
- Why is there so much energy in my cards? I don't feel that energetic. Ever.
- Caring too much about what people think and say about me is causing more harm than protection.
- I'm a caretaker. A nurturer. Definitely.
- In terms of my goals and aspirations: I don't know where I want to go with my goals, causing me to have real conflict, but there's a major transition in my future...something like a career shift...that's going to be lifechanging for the better. Gotta hang in there and brave the winds.
- Financial independence
- An opportunity/offer is going to come my way, and it'll force me to make a decision. I'm advised to think with my head, and not with my heart this time.

And then there's the reading on my relationship....

....SO YEAH!!!

What the hell do I do with all of this? Hmmm.
I'm quite scared of how on point it all was, and so naturally, I'm just gonna avoid it for a few days. Let it marinate on my PC (of course I took notes while she was talking). Maybe revisit it when I'm more brave.

I know what it this all boils down to. I'm even scared of saying what it is on in this blog. Doesn't mean it goes away. It's already been put out here in the universe.
----
Did I ever mention that I got hired for a new job??? Starting this September??? Yee!!!

Working with an organization that puts on free comprehensive after-school programs for youth in L.A. Design/implement/facilitate an after-school program of my choice. I chose to work with high school youth. I'm not ready for middle school and younger. High school cats, on the other hand...we build. Yesterday was my job orientation. Lots of womyn employees. Very telling of who Education tends to nurture, and who they let slip. That's truth, not opinion. Gaps everywhere, and yesterday was all about learning how to fill them. I can't wait.

I need a planner. So Cal living now has set plans for me. Happy End of August, everyone.


More To Come,
Reese

Working On It.

Something about the way distance can do the opposite of change anything. Not everything is better or worse when separated: sometimes it's just the same ol thing- just different places.

Note to self: Be more patient with Mom. It's not her fault that the internet is such a complicated thing. Try not to get irritated when she doesn't get it like you do.


<3
Risa

From Me to You.

i have 3 blogs.
1 for work, and then i have another blog separate from this one that i write in. it's something that i use to write for myself with no intentions on sharing it with you, ever. note: if you don't have a space like that for yourself, i highly suggest you create one.

THIS...however...IS for you. and me. and the homie next to you cupcakin' with the girl that they're currently talkin' to. yeah...her too.

this will be the only post in which i address you directly. fuck all these prompts. but i mean, you gotta know why i ended up leaving the bay in the first place.

graduated college.
check.

applied and got the internship that i wanted.
check.

uprooted myself from the only mother of a home i've ever known my entire life.
check.


....in a nutshell.


Gimme some time to situate myself before I throw my everything into this. Nights are long but I get sleepy faster. Times are lonelier and sometimes I'm too scared to touch this computer. I'm sick from all of this distance. Los Angeles and I have yet to really meet. Long Beach is blushing and I fail to apologize for looking at her like I know her.

Here's to what's to come.


Love,
Risa


P.S.

here's the address to my blog for my internship. check it out if you'd like: risaisfromthebay.blogspot.com